This is my first time here and I figured I would read something a little more personal than funny. When I was invited by Jessica to read something for five minutes I knew I had to do this. I was further inspired about the recent news regarding Harry Potter, now a multi-billion dollar book. The story I'm about to tell you is not breaking news for Portland. In a city famous for its stance on alternative lifestyles and black hairdos, you probably see this subject matter all the time in TV shows and musicals, but we have to remember that even here there can still be fear of being honest about yourself. So tonight I'm going to tell you about that day in high school when my parents found out about me, the me I had been hiding.

Anyways, this whole thing happened while I was a junior in high school. Pretty much from day one I knew I was a little bent. I know who isn't? But I was too afraid of my family to tell them the real truth about me, especially my mother. You see, I come from a pretty religious family, my father was catholic and my mother was Pentecostal. Everybody now thinks Pentecostals dance around with snakes all day but if they did, trust me, me and my mother would be getting along a lot better. She was so completely conservative she caught me watching Siegfried and Roy's E! True Hollywood story and flipped out. I got grounded from watching TV for a week just for that. 

At school it was even worse. All the normal guys who wrestled and played football would make fun of me every single day. It didn't help that I hung out with the weird kids. I just did my best to pretend I was normal. I didn't want to be a target. It didn't help though. Every day, without fail, those jerks would yell out stuff like "Gonna go hang out with some of your fairy friends?" And, you know, that stuff hurts when you're growing up different. If they hated my friends, what would they do to me if they knew? I felt like if I admitted my alternative lifestyle to the entire school they would burn me alive at the stake or something.

The only other person I shared all of this with was my neighbor Sol. It was short for Solomon, but I thought saying the whole thing was kind of lame. I'd make fun of him for his name, he'd make fun of me for not being able to throw a ball, and it was great. Right away we knew we were the same, both of us loved reading our horoscopes, Shakespeare, and Broadway musicals. Every night we'd go down into the basement away from our parents, play dress up, and do things like read each other's palms in our lavish costumes. It was cute and innocent, nothing gross or disgusting. People ask me stuff like "did you touch his wand?" No, it wasn't anything like that; hell I was so innocent I wouldn't have known which end was up. I. I remember asking the stars that it would last forever.

But all good things come to an end. It was a regular Wednesday (Odin's day) in September (seven) when it happened. Solomon and I were downstairs and talking about how it would be fun to turn into big hairy bears. We were having so much fun, laughing and playing so loud, that we didn't hear footsteps coming to the door. We were just so into it. Did you know the way you hold it changes the way it all feels? Anyways, they busted into the room and my mom and dad just looked appalled.
They caught us right in the middle of something wonderful and all of us were horrified. At first I was completely frozen with fear and then it actually made me mad. After spending all that time hiding I was done. Tightening the belt of my robe around me I took off my pointy hat and said, "Mom, Dad, I'm a wizard."

Needless to say, they were pissed. I eventually got them to come to faith based counseling with me and we all pulled through. Now they all call me their little smart ass magician. Even though I felt better and my parents respected my beliefs, my life is far from enchanted. I graduated so quickly and I lost touch with all of my fairy and pixie friends. Don't even talk to me about Sol. He got too freaked out after being outed and moved away. I never saw him again. But, you know even though I can still hear him making fun of me whenever I throw a fireball, I'm staying strong. I'm strong enough to get up here and tell you this. If any of you out there are suffering from the same thing, don't be afraid. You can survive anything they throw at you, except for an anti-magic spell. Thank you for your time and hope to see you at the parade.